Friday, January 03, 2003

A method to my blogness

I do a lot of blog drafting in my head at odd moments, in the car, in the shower, falling asleep, even walking to lunch. A few days ago, I was purchasing beer and wine for a party, thinking about the changes in my life over the past couple of years, going from being an apostate, to a newly-committed but uncertain Catholic, then to a blogger trying to explain myself and my religion in new ways, to an audience but also to myself. Usually, in these random musings, the first sentence or two of what later become a blog entry pop more or less unbidden into my consciousness, as happened that morning. "My religion and my life haven't fully accommodated themselves to each other just yet" was the thought that got me going, until another stopped the self-indulgent strain abruptly. "That's because there is no accommodation between them. There is only, in the end, total surrender of one to the other. Choose carefully." If it didn't make me sound very, very loony, I'd describe some of these thoughts more as voices. But who wants to admit they hear voices?


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