Tuesday, May 27, 2003

I was digging in the archives, when I came across this post. I found it funny then, and I find it funny now. So I'm reposting it, whether you like it or not. My blog. My rules.

"What Would Jesus Eat?"

Let's see if I can stir up a new controversy.

"Self-help" Jesus books that can't be far away:

"What Would Jesus Shoot? A Christian Hunter's Guide to Firearms"
"What Would Jesus Boot? Computers that will make you Rapturous"
"What Would Jesus Invest In? 12 Can't-Miss Investments for the Christian Trader, Plus a bonus investment for the one that does go wrong."
"What Would Jesus Bake? A Recipe-filled Follow-up to the Best-Selling 'What Would Jesus Eat?'"
"What Would Jesus Abort? Planned Parenthood's New Translation of the New Testament, with a forward by Rev. Mark Bigalow"
"What Would Jesus Pay? A Christian's Guide to Negotiating Your Best Deal"
"What Would Jesus Sue? A Legal Guide to Christian Guerrilla Judicial Activism"
"What Would Jesus Design? Furniture and Interior Recommendations from the World's Most Famous Carpenter"
"What Would Jesus Cellar? Top Wine Recommendations from the Nation's Top Christian Oenophiles"
"What Would Jesus Sell? Amway's Biggest Catalog EVER!"
"What Would Jesus Use to Survive an Attack by a Weapon of Mass Destruction? Survival Gear for the Christian Who Already Has a Year's Supply of Food Stashed Away in a Plywood Structure The FBI Doesn't Know About"

Please note I hold the copyright to all these titles, and will gratefully sue the pants off anyone who actually publishes a book under these names.

UPDATE: A few more. (Send your own, and I'll list the best ones.)
"What Would Jesus Pave? A Conservative Christian's Guide to Protecting Our Wilderness While Opening Up New Areas to Development"
"What Would Jesus Use? A Deeper Understanding of Christ Through a Deeper Understanding of Cannabis"
"What Would Jesus Join? Clubs and Associations That Won't 'Raise Eyebrows'"
"What Would Jesus Ski? A Vacation Guide for the Saved"


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